He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
That accounts for only three of the penises
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
