week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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