that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
