Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
