I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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