the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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