Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Randomize
