Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
