I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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