it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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