I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
