I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize