She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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