So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
