I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
