Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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