dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
