He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
