we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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