morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
