found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
