Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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