do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
These tits shall not be calmed
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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