I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
