Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
