Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
