dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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