This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
