He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
