Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
