it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
