you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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