marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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