Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
