Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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