okay pat passed out under dana's car
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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