I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
