i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
