We're facebook friends in real life
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
