is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
