While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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