the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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