My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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