if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
