im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
