Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
