FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
