even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
