I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
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What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
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Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles