just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.