So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.