wakey wakey hands off snakey
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.