he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
