Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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