Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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