and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm at about main and main street
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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