well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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