Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Still dying that you shit outside
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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