Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
