just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Bring me that man meat
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
