she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
