I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
