I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Panties = found
Randomize
