so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
