How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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